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Sunday, January 11, 2009
Lately
Lately things have been more down then up. Lately I am feeling more like an alcoholic then a normal person. Lately I just need to cheer up.
On a different note...I am pretty nervous for this week. (Besides the obvious fear of losing my job, yes they started layoffs) I am starting the marketing portion for work. Our regular marketing girl is off on maternity leave which leaves me to do the Ads for the hotel. I have never been so nervous to do anything. I have three days to create a Valentine's Day Ad for our bar and I didn't get any training. The girl who I am stepping in for just didn't have time to train me before she left. Not that I blame her, she has a lot on her plate, but I think she wanted to maybe see me fail so I wouldn't take her spot while she was gone. I know that is harsh, but it is also not something I really want to do. I am just doing it for the resume building it will give me, and to help out with my hours around work. But I guess I'll just wing it and hope for the best.
On a different note...I am pretty nervous for this week. (Besides the obvious fear of losing my job, yes they started layoffs) I am starting the marketing portion for work. Our regular marketing girl is off on maternity leave which leaves me to do the Ads for the hotel. I have never been so nervous to do anything. I have three days to create a Valentine's Day Ad for our bar and I didn't get any training. The girl who I am stepping in for just didn't have time to train me before she left. Not that I blame her, she has a lot on her plate, but I think she wanted to maybe see me fail so I wouldn't take her spot while she was gone. I know that is harsh, but it is also not something I really want to do. I am just doing it for the resume building it will give me, and to help out with my hours around work. But I guess I'll just wing it and hope for the best.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I disappeared, then reappeared!
Yes, I did wonder off into Redneck Country for Christmas this year...above are some pictures of the wondrous festivities of being at my Dad's!
New Years Resolutions
-Erase people from my life, that don’t need to be there. I have a lot of clutter in my life. One of the things I need to eliminate is the clutter of people that I talk to that are just not good for me. I call these people my toxic friends. They are just negative. They bring me down, and I am already as down as I can go. I am deleting numbers as of January 1st, so if you are one of these people don’t be surprised if you get one of those “who is this?” texts.
-Go back to school. I am determined that in the fall I am going back. I want to make a difference in my life. I haven’t been to school in almost three years and to think I may never get back really upsets me. I will go back this year. Wish me luck.
-Bike in the MS 150. Wow step back here she goes. I am determined to do something influential this year. This is it. It will be a great way to get into shape, and slowly kill myself at the same time. I want to know that I can do something bigger then me.
-Go on a road trip. Pretty strait forward and something I have done the past two years. I like to go to places I have never been, so maybe this year will be a road trip to Florida, or California. Haven’t decided yet.
-Buy a new car. This one isn’t that high up on my list. I love my truck. Like really love it, that is why it’s not the high up, but I don’t need a truck. I really never needed a truck. I just like the redneck feeling of having a truck. But it’s time to start growing up.
-Feel the fire. Put myself on a ledge. Do something different. Find trouble.
-Get two more tattoos…for now.
-Bungee jump. Any takers? I really want it.
-Live downtown
-Go back to school. I am determined that in the fall I am going back. I want to make a difference in my life. I haven’t been to school in almost three years and to think I may never get back really upsets me. I will go back this year. Wish me luck.
-Bike in the MS 150. Wow step back here she goes. I am determined to do something influential this year. This is it. It will be a great way to get into shape, and slowly kill myself at the same time. I want to know that I can do something bigger then me.
-Go on a road trip. Pretty strait forward and something I have done the past two years. I like to go to places I have never been, so maybe this year will be a road trip to Florida, or California. Haven’t decided yet.
-Buy a new car. This one isn’t that high up on my list. I love my truck. Like really love it, that is why it’s not the high up, but I don’t need a truck. I really never needed a truck. I just like the redneck feeling of having a truck. But it’s time to start growing up.
-Feel the fire. Put myself on a ledge. Do something different. Find trouble.
-Get two more tattoos…for now.
-Bungee jump. Any takers? I really want it.
-Live downtown
Recap of 2008
I have every intention about writing a post about my 2008 recap. I sat down and started typing everything that had happen to me this past year, by the time I was done it was half a page, and just full of misery. I deleted it. I came to this conclusion. I don’t want to remember 2008. Why remember things that were so depressing? I decided in order to get on with 2009, I need to just not remember 2008. It’s over. It’s the past as of tomorrow. How can you move on when all you do is ever look back?
So here’s the future…cause I am over the past.
So here’s the future…cause I am over the past.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Blank
Life is about choices. Big choices. Little choices. Those are brought on by problems. Big problems. Little problems. What happens when the problems become to big that they aren't big problems or little problems, but just roadblocks in your life. You can't get around, and you can't climb above, it's kinda like you keep sinking and the roadblock is tumbling over you.
That's how I feel.
It's time for a change. I can feel with the new year that something big is going to have change about me, or I am going to have to get some meds to stop being so fucking depressed. I need something different in my life. I'm not talking about a man. I am talking about new friends, a new job, or a new town. The new town option is looking awfully tempting right now, I may admit. But I like my job to much that I would have to find something within the company to make me want to leave.
I am running out of options. I don't know which way I am going, and I wonder if I am to young to be feeling this at all. I feel like the choices I made in my past are haunting me today. I want to know whether my life is going to always feel this empty or if I will eventually get some meaning out of it.
I know I am just bitching, and most people who read this blog are saying, get the fuck over yourself girl, there are real problems in my life, but I can't help but wonder....WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING!!!!
That's how I feel.
It's time for a change. I can feel with the new year that something big is going to have change about me, or I am going to have to get some meds to stop being so fucking depressed. I need something different in my life. I'm not talking about a man. I am talking about new friends, a new job, or a new town. The new town option is looking awfully tempting right now, I may admit. But I like my job to much that I would have to find something within the company to make me want to leave.
I am running out of options. I don't know which way I am going, and I wonder if I am to young to be feeling this at all. I feel like the choices I made in my past are haunting me today. I want to know whether my life is going to always feel this empty or if I will eventually get some meaning out of it.
I know I am just bitching, and most people who read this blog are saying, get the fuck over yourself girl, there are real problems in my life, but I can't help but wonder....WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING!!!!
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